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4/23/2011 0 Comments

Good Friday

My family has a rather odd Good Friday tradition. We visit my grandmother's grave. She passed away on Holy Thursday 6 years ago and instead of commemorating the actual date, we remember her on Good Friday. We plant flowers and say a couple of prayers. So far, so normal. Where it gets a little strange is that we bring 9 kids, age 2 to 18, pack a picnic and take pictures including a group one around the grave. At least one of my nephews brings a skateboard - our picnic spot is hilly and curvy, the perfect combination for a good ride. It sounds disrespectful but in reality it's not. The kids know that it means a lot to my mother so they treat the whole thing with reverence (well as reverent as a teen on a skateboard can get). They unplug from the various devices that dominate their lives and they ask questions and listen to the answers. They get a sense of history - both personal, my mom talks to them about their ancestors and public, one of the graves on the walk from my grandmother to aunt is John Hynes, long ago mayor of Boston.

My sister told me today about a character in a book that said something to the effect of, "It is not what rules your family has but the fact that they have rules that matters." I think it is the same for traditions, it doesn't matter what they are as long as you have them. Click on any photo to enlarge.

In case you thought I was joking about the group photo.....

...or the picnic....

....or the skateboard.

This reminds me of a movie or a TV show. I look at it and music starts to play in my head but I can't quite name that tune.

Isn't this door beautiful?

One picture from back at my mother's house: seriously are you kidding me with those eyelashes?

Click here if you're my mother and want to see more pictures from the day.

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4/22/2011 0 Comments

In praise of not praising

The other night my son got his first "major league" hit. Which, although fascinating to us, is not the point of this post. The point is what happened after that. While he was on 2nd base, someone hit a ball to short. Initially, he did exactly what he was supposed to do and waited until the throw to 1st to start running. Then he messed up. Instead of running hard and paying attention to his coach's instruction, he hesitated rounding 3rd base. My husband and I joked in the car later that he thought the coach was saying "no, no, no" instead of "go, go, go". Unfortunately Red Sox fans of a certain age will get this reference. Luckily, unlike Denny Doyle, he scored. As he came off the field, one of his coaches pulled him aside and spoke to him privately about the blunder. I respect the fact that it was done privately and I was happy to see it done at all. Please don't misunderstand. I don't want my kids to be publicly embarrassed, but I do want them to be corrected when they make a mistake. In my opinion there is far too much emphasis these days on praise and not enough on constructive criticism. God forbid you dent their self esteem. We all got a chuckle at the Fockers' wall of mediocrity, but if we praise kids for what should be expected of them, aren't we fostering that mentality? You don't learn by doing everything right, you learn when you do it wrong and then correct your mistakes.
"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."
~Michael Jordan

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4/21/2011 0 Comments

Random Musings

Compliments are hard to come by in my marriage, they always have been. So that may explain why I was in shock after our exchange last night in the car (on our way to another freezing cold baseball game, of course). Me: I don't want to get a physical tomorrow, she is going to yell at me for being overweight. Him (completely incredulous): YOU? Why would she yell at you? What makes this even better is that he is the type if he thought the doctor should yell at me then he would have said something like well she does have a point. Apparently in this respect, the apple does not fall far from the tree because my son just said to me, "You need to brush your hair, it's all sticking up on the side." The blow dryer was on when the muse struck today.

The other thing I want to talk about is the weather, again. Hey, I live in New England that's what we do. It is baseball season and it is cold and windy. No, make that freezing and blustery. In addition, for the past few days, it has been so gray outside. Last night, when I dressed for the field, my daughter asked with all seriousness, "Why are you dressed for the snow?" At least today is sunny. In past years, I have actually gone to the beach during April vacation. Not that I want that, I would be happy if I just could wear flip flops with the jeans, long sleeve T-shirt and sweater that I am wearing today. The worst part about it is when it does break, it will probably go straight to hot and humid. Then people will say well you complained when it was too cold now it's too hot what do want?? Me, I just want to be Goldilocks, not hot, not cold, just right.

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4/13/2011 0 Comments

Inspiration and regular posts

I can not write on a regular basis. I have tried. I hoped that having regular features like tips or a series on irony would help me but it doesn't. It makes it worse. It puts pressure on me to write each week which then makes it even harder to write. I have decided that inspiration, like lightning, strikes when it feels like it and as frustrating as it is, I just have to wait for that to happen. And believe me, it is frustrating because most often it strikes when I am in the shower with a head full of suds. Then it's BOOM, ideas come rolling in. And not unfinished thoughts either. WHOLE SENTENCES. So I have to either hope they don't disappear or get out of the shower and write them down. I usually choose the head full of suds option. When they come out with Dragon Naturally Speaking Shower edition, I will be all set but until then, I am abandoning all my pathetic attempts at rousing my muse. To my muse: You win, I am at your mercy. When you want me to write, I will write. Otherwise we are all out of luck. Especially my husband because the other time inspiration stikes is when I am lying (laying? always confuse those two) in bed.

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4/9/2011 0 Comments

Opening Days

Yesterday, my husband and I went into Boston for the Red Sox home opener. We didn't have tickets, we just went in to soak in the atmosphere. We had a great time with great weather, maybe a little chilly but not a cloud in the sky. From the size of the crowd in Game On during the game, we were not the only ones with the idea.

Today, we got to enjoy another opening day: our town league. I know that sometimes I come down hard on youth sports but I have to say what I saw today represented all that is good with youth sports. It was a glorious day and to see the community gather to celebrate this annual rite of passage was really heartwarming. The day began with a parade through town. Does anything say suburbia quite like hundreds of kids walking through town in baseball uniforms?

The game itself was well played and competitive and there were ample instances of good sportsmanship and teamwork by all the players, coaches and onlookers from both teams. All in all, as far as ways to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon, you can't really beat it.

If you would like to see pictures from opening day, please click here.

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4/7/2011 3 Comments

Classic

This is how things work in my house. My husband gets a little card from the post office telling him to come pick up a package. He attempts to go get it but the post office closed. He says to me, "Can you pick up that package in your spare time since the kids are getting out early today?" Me: "Sure thing" thinking what spare time? I am a little annoyed because I sometimes feel like the secretary in this marriage and it's "the pick up the dry cleaning and get the coffee" kind of secretary, not the really appreciated "here is the week off for Secretary's Appreciation Day" kind. But I do it. Later via email he asks, "Did you get that package?" You wives can imagine how happy this question makes me. Anyway I email back that yes I did. 5 seconds later the phone rings. Him: "That package you picked up, you can open it, it's an early birthday present." Me: "I had to go and pick up my own present?" Inside is a fabulous new lens for my camera, a much nicer one than what I would have bought myself. And once again I am reminded that he is always willing to get the upgrade when it comes to anything for me and that we make a great team. Even though I had to pick up my own present.

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